Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Feeling mushy. :P

I'm in a bit of an odd mood and I would just like to take this oppertunity to finally get something out.. Ok, here I go..

For the past few years (usually on school camps) they sometimes ask us to get in groups (usually with our friends) and say a few things about how important they are to us and stuff, generally express our feelings and whatnot. Each time this kind of activity occurs, I can't seem to say what I really feel, I just can't get the words out and as a result, I usually end up acting nervous and saying something stupid and not really participating. But I'm going to say it now. For everyone to see (well, only the few that actually read this)..

There aren't really words to describe how much my friends mean to me. I'm not much of a family person. With all the problems that I have been having with myself and my family, I need my friends to just keep going everyday. To me, life would be rather pointless if I didn't have them around. Now, I realise that people say things like this all the time, but, you have no idea how deeply in love I am with all of you guys. (in a non-romantic way..)

I'm sorry if I ever did you wrong, or didn't take notice if something was bothering you or if I wasn't any help when you had a problem. To those friends or even accuantences who I have driffted away from and lost contact with, I'm sorry, you all were a massive part of my life that I could never forget (dispite my shocking memory). I hope that I can try to mend any wounds I may have caused others. I hope that I can still somehow communicate with all of you even though we are miles apart.

To my girls, thank you. Thank you for being friends with me. My whole life I have been a victim to bullying and all that crap (explains my lack of a self esteem). Over the years, you guys have been slowly but surely curing me. Thank you for asking if something was wrong when I showed up to school all sad, even though I don't tell you most of the time what is wrong, it makes it a bit better to hear you ask and sound concerned. I need that. Especially at those time when I believe that no one cares. The times when I would text you guys late at night with a problem even if it was the most pathetic thing or if it was just because I couldn't sleep and was bored, thanks. I love when we have those games of 'Truth' (thank you Jaki for introducing that), it makes me feel closer to you all and it's awesome. Staying up late and talking in the dark, it makes me forget my problems, makes me feel like nothing is wrong, I never want those times to end. Haha, I remember on yr11 camp when I thought about this in my head and started crying (yes, that's why I was crying). It means the world to me when you include me in things, from things like letting me join a group in class or letting me in on a secret to asking me to go places with you or telling me things you wouldn't tell anyone else (or whatever :P).

My girls. <3 You are my world.

This is only really half of the things I feel deep down. I have many thoughts and feelings about many things, I just have trouble getting them out my mouth. I hope that you guys can cure me of this too, and all the other things that are wrong with me. I promise, that even after we have graduated and go our seprate ways, I will never forget you, I have a plan to never lose contact with my girls, because your my friends forever (whether you like it or not)! I really love you guys. (oh man, here come the water works again) <3


  1. Okay, that's it. You're getting the biggest hug tomorrow. Not even joking.
    I love you! <3
    More than Timothy loves cake.

  2. Aww... you're making me cry again!

  3. This is the most beautiful and inspiring thing I have ever read. I'm really glad that you found words to describe your feelings. ^-^

    One day, when I am in a super mushy mood and can find all the right words, I'll tell you how I feel about you. ;)


  4. I just wish that I could get these sorts of things out my mouth at the right times. I just want you guys to understand how I feel deep down and I think it would be awesome if you guys could help me to be able to say these things instead of posting them on the internet behind the safety of a computer screen.